Amalgamation
by PumpkinView
Summary: Although events may seem unconnected, life is made up of many, many strings of fate. Pulling one can unravel the cloth of the universe, creating problems for other, remote parts. Everything is interconnected. Your actions, no matter how small you may think they are, can have a ripple effect. R&R. Rated T to be safe. ALSO INCLUDES UNCLE GRANDPA AND SECRET MOUNTAIN FORT AWESOME.
1. Little Bark, Big Problems

**Amalgamation**

 **Chapter One: Little Bark, Big Problems**

It had become almost routine for Meme and Fee to meet every night to stare up at the stars, and to talk about life with one another. The conversations topics usually started out nonsensical. They would scream inside jokes to one another, however, over time, these conversations became more and more serious. One night, maybe it just got a little too serious.

"Do you ever just….wonder where you came from?" Fee sighed loudly, as she questioned her existence and purpose in life.

"What do you mean?" Meme looked at Fee, wondering _how exactly_ the two of them screaming about bubble liquid turned into questions of existence.

"Well, you know. Me and Foo are orphans….and not just that, but….have you seen any other Imps around here?" Fee shrugged, sitting up. "And that fact made me wonder…..about me and Foo's past….and family and stuff." She hugged her knees.

Meme frowned. "C'mere." She held out her arms, motioning for Fee to hug her.

Fee smiled slightly, and got into Meme's arms. Meme fluffed Fee's hair, and kissed her forehead. "I'm sure you'll figure out more about your past, soon enough, Fee." She patted Fee's back.

Fee sighed again. "I'm sorry I got all teen angsty and stuff." Fee pouted. "I just felt….comfortable enough to tell you…I guess….I dunno, this whole 'sharing my feelings' thing is new to me."

"It's okay, man." Meme said, giving Fee another reassuring pat on the back.

"Don't tell anyone about….this…."

"You're secret's safe with me."

Fee stood up, and then held out her hand to Meme, helping her up into standing position.

Fee, since she was now 15, had sprung up in height. She was almost taller than Meme, who had barely grown at all in the past 5 or so years. Fee's crush on Meme seemed to have grown in intensity, due to her raging teenage hormones. Of course, no moves had been made.

Meme was 16, almost 17. She was a little embarrassed to still only be 5'3" but at the same time, she found it cute that Fee almost towered over her, when just a few years before, it was the other way around. Meme was now well aware of Fee's feelings for her, and with no doubts, reciprocated the feelings. But she felt that Fee was supposed to make the first move, she just didn't know when Fee would do it.

The two teen girls walked slowly towards their friend Harvey's home.

On the way there, Foo, Fee's twin brother, began to follow after them.

Foo laughed a little, seeing the two teen girls together. "Hey Fee, having fun with your girlfriend?" He playfully teased.

Fee glared at Foo, and sighed, rolling her eyes a little. "She's not my girlfriend…" Fee said, in a deadpan tone, and then added under her breath, "...yet"

"Huh?" Meme towards Fee.

"Nothing….I coughed….through my eyes." Fee lied through her butt.

"Oh…" Meme looked away from her.

They got to Harvey's house, and went in. At this point, the twins and Meme usually just entered Harvey's house without any prior warning. Harvey wasn't annoyed, or surprised. He just expected it, and accepted it as the norm.

"Oh, hey Fee, Foo, and Meme." He greeted from the couch. He had the TV on the news, which was pretty typical for him, only, the news story was pretty…different, to say the least.

Usually, when the news was brought up to Fee, she would ignore it, or fall asleep in boredom, but the story intrigued her.

 **THIS JUST IN:** ** _Mysterious RV drives through Little Bark Grove. Old Man, who calls himself "Uncle Grandpa", of indiscernible species, mystifies locals with magic and random acts of kindness._**

"Magic and random acts of kindness, eh?" Fee tapped her chin with her finger. She wondered if this 'magic kind man' could help her with her problems, the main one being her and her brother's origin.

"I don't know….He seems kinda creeeeepy….." Foo said, hiding behind the couch, peeking over to look at the TV. "What if he's a _vampire_?"

"Eh, he seems more like a mage to me." Meme shrugged.

"I'm gonna look for this guy." Fee began to walk towards the door.

"I'll come with you." Meme followed.

The two teen girls walked through the forest, beginning their search for Uncle Grandpa.


	2. The Marzipan City Mayonnaise Festival

**Amalgamation**

 **Chapter Two: The Marzipan City Mayonnaise Festival**

Once again, Chowder had made a mistake.

The annual Marzipan City Mayonnaise Festival was right around the corner, and the Mung Daal catering company of course, was catering. The only problem?

Chowder ate all the sacrificial mayonnaise.

Every year, to appease the deity Ernius, they would sacrifice mayonnaise on an altar, and in exchange, he kept the soil around Marzipan City fertile, the weather patterns even, and the whole area over all to be nice.

But just _what_ was Chowder going to do? He knew he messed up big time, this time.

"Chowder?" Mung said as he entered. "It's time for us to take the mayonnaise over to-Chowder did you eat ALL of the mayonnaise?! What are we supposed to sacrifice now!?"

Chowder looked guilty. "I…might have eaten all of it….We can just get more!"

"Chowder, we had ALL of the town's mayo supply! We're in deep doodoo now."

Chowder was nervous now. He had made mistakes before, but this was a mistake of epic proportions.

Shnitzel walked in. "Radda radda radda?" he asked, and then noticed the mess, and Chowder who seemed to be having a mental breakdown. "Radda radda!" he face palmed.

"Yes, Shnitzel, he did eat all the mayonnaise. And that's another quarter in the swear jar."

Shnitzel sighed and put another quarter in the swear jar. "Radda radda?"

"I don't know what we're gonna do now!" Mung said, frustratedly. "Maybe Ernius will accept mustard instead…"

"Radda radda radda." Shnitzel pointed out.

"I know, I know. But it starts with the same letter!" Mung had already gotten out a bottle of mustard.

"Radda radda."

"So _what_ if you don't think it will work? It's worth a try." Mung crossed his arms. "Let's get going. If we're possibly going to get destroyed, we might as well get it over with."

~u~

Everyone in Marzipan City was gathered together for the Mayonnaise Festival.

Shnitzel, again annoyed that no one listens to him ever, ditched them in favor of looking for his girlfriend, Baguette, in the crowd of people.

Meanwhile, Mung set up the altar as was usual, but put the bottle of mustard where the jar of mayonnaise would usually go. He crossed his fingers this would work.

Soon enough, it was time for the ceremony to begin.

The ceremonial candles were lit, and everyone noticed that there was a bottle of mustard, rather than a jar of mayonnaise. Everyone gasped.

"Radda radda." Shnitzel said under his breath.

There was a collective mumbling among everyone. They knew something bad was to happen.

And then, Ernius showed up.

Wind created a vortex in the room, and a sound similar to the sound Skype makes when you close it BLASTED LOUDLY through the room, as a puff of sparkling red smoke appeared.

An odd looking man, who certainly fit the exact descriptions of a creepazoid materialized from the smoke.

"IT IS I! ERNIUS OF THE PEPPERMINT REALM!" The deity walked around the room. "I AM HERE TO COLLECT MY MAYONNAISE SACRAFICE!"

Everyone in the room gasped again. Ernius turned towards the altar, and began to say _mayonnaise,_ expecting mayonnaise to be there. But it was mustard instead. "Whoooooo dares give me _MUSTARD!_ IT IS THE _MAYONNAISE_ FESTIVAL! IT'S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME!" Ernius shouted, his voice wavering in volume and pitch.

He waved his hand, and a huge vortex of wind spun around the room, throwing everyone around.

Chowder, Mung, and Truffles grabbed onto columns in the corner of the room. Baguette and Shnitzel held onto each other for dear life, as the air picked the two of them up and threw them around like a toddler playing with dolls.

"NOW YOU WILL PAY! CUE THE MUSIC!"

Everyone in the room screamed. _The song. They were being punished with the song._

 _"_ _It's marvelous,_

 _Magnificent,_

 _I can't imagine life without the letter M!_

 _Impossible,_

 _Improbable,_

 _How could you get along without the letter M!_

 _How could you order M &Ms without the letter M,_

 _What would you say, what would you do?_

 _What would you call them?_

 _There'd be no words like Mississippi, mommy, monkey, maybe too,_

 _How could a cow go moo without a small M?_

 _NO MAYONNAISE!_

 _NO MEDECINE!_

 _THERE'D BE NO MUMPS, OR MEASLES, MONSTERS,_

 _NONE OF THEM!_

 _Magnanimous,_

 _Mellifluous,_

 _The one important letter in momentum,_

 _The Letter M!"_ He sang the song maliciously. "NOW ALL TOGETHER!"

Everyone in the room nervously coughed, deciding it was in their best interest to sing, as to not get into further trouble. As it was, they were in boiling water due to both Chowder and Mung's actions.

Everyone awkwardly sang along with Ernius.

 _"_ _It's marvelous,_

 _Magnificent,_

 _I can't imagine life without the letter M!_

 _Impossible,_

 _Improbable,_

 _How could you get along without the letter M!_

 _How could you order M &Ms without the letter M,_

 _What would you say, what would you do?_

 _What would you call them?_

 _There'd be no words like Mississippi, mommy, monkey, maybe too,_

 _How could a cow go moo without a small M?_

 _NO MAYONNAISE!_

 _NO MEDECINE!_

 _THERE'D BE NO MUMPS, OR MEASLES, MONSTERS,_

 _NONE OF THEM!_

 _Magnanimous,_

 _Mellifluous,_

 _The one important letter in momentum,_

 _The Letter M!"_

"NOW ITS PUNISHMENT TIME, NAUGHTY CHILDREN! A FAMINE FOR…hmmm let's see….." Ernius procured a wheel from thin air, and spun it. It landed between 5 years and 100 years. He smacked it, so it landed on 100. "100 YEARS! BYE BYE KIDDIES!" he disappeared in a red sparkly puff of smoke, again with the skype closing sound.

"Well….It's not that bad! I mean….Famine's aren't b-bad…" Chowder tried to brighten things up, unsuccessfully.

And that's when the blizzard started.


	3. Our Dearest Uncle Grandpa

**Amalgamation**

 **Chapter 3: Our Dearest Uncle Grandpa**

It took the two girls several hours of walking through the forest in Little Bark, and they just couldn't seem to find any trace of Uncle Grandpa. Fee felt herself start to become frantic, while Meme, on the other hand, was exhausted.

"I'm sorry Fee, but I need to sit down." Meme plopped under a tree and panted, she fanned herself with her hand, and was sweating bullets. She looked fairly close to passing out.

"Whoa, man, are you okay?" Fee sat down next to Meme, and looked at her with concern.

"Yeah I'm fine. All this walking is just…not agreeing with me." She panted more, and leaned on Fee for support.

"We….We can take a break." Fee reached into her hair and felt around, pulling out a bottle of water, and handing it to Meme.

Meme smiled at Fee, taking the bottle. Fee smiled as well.

"Thanks." Meme drank some of the water. She closed the bottle back up, and Fee took it, placing it back in her hair.

"I think we can keep going." Meme started to get up, only to be stopped by Fee.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Fee asked, just to make sure. She didn't want Meme to drop dead from being overheated, or exhausted. That would be counteractive, not just to Fee's current quest, but also, counteractive to any progress she may have made in their possible relationship.

"Yes, Fee. I'm fine." Meme smirked at Fee.

"Just making sure." Fee stood up, holding her hand out to Meme, who took it. Fee pulled her into standing position, but pulled maybe just a little bit too hard, because Meme smacked into her. Fee started to fall backwards, but Meme grabbed her, to steady her.

"Whoa, are you okay?" Meme asked.

Fee realized they both were practically clinging to one another, and blushed, looking at Meme, and back at their arms, over and over again.

"Fee?" Meme noticed Fee's glazed over look.

Fee almost felt like now was the time. She was going to make a move. She started leaning in, her lips puckered, and Meme started to do the very same, it seemed as if the universe was begging them to kiss, but since it's far too early in the fanfic, they were interrupted.

"GOOD MORNING!"

Both girls were startled, and pushed each other away, at a force strong enough to knock each other over, onto the ground.

"Oh, sorry Fee and Meeya! I didn't realize you two were having a moment." An old man, wearing a propeller hat, rainbow suspenders, black shorts, and a red fanny pack walked over to them.

" _Meeya?_ " Fee looked at Meme with a funny look, with a slight laugh.

"Uh, sir…how do you know our names?" asked Meme "also, I prefer to go by Meme." She added.

"Oh, sorry about that Meme!" Uncle Grandpa appeared to scribble a note on his hand, most likely about her name. "I'm your Uncle Grandpa!"

"OH! I knew I recognized you from somewhere! We've been looking for you all day!" said Fee

"And I'm here to help you with anything you need help with!" Uncle Grandpa replied, cheerfully, walking closer to the two teen girls, placing his hands on his hips, in a super-hero like pose.

"Well, I have a rather big task I need help with." Fee sighed, crossing her arms, looking over to Uncle Grandpa. She _really_ hoped he could help, but so far he just seemed like a silly old man. She started to wonder if all this walking in the woods was worth it.

"Tell me all about it! I'll see how I can help you, Fee!" He replied, patting her on the back.

"I want to know who my brother and me's parents are." Fee replied, grammatically incorrect.

"Hmm….Well that will be a pretty difficult thing to find out…But not impossible! Come with me!" Uncle Grandpa led the two teen girls to his RV. "Come inside!" He opened the door, and the three of them went in.

"Whoa…." Both Meme and Fee said in unison.

"We'll have to go to another planet to get the universal records, but don't worry! That won't take too long. You'll know by the end of the day!" Uncle Grandpa assured them.

"Wait…Another planet? What do you mean _another planet_?" Fee scratched her head, and looked at Uncle Grandpa inquisitively.

Uncle Grandpa walked into the UG RV cockpit, and took a seat, putting the key into ignition. He turned it, and the UG RV roared to life. "Oh, don't worry, space travel is fun! But be careful not to stick your arms out the window! You can lose your arms!" His arms fell off. "Like that!"

"Uh….before we go, can we _at least_ get my brother?"

"I'm already here, Fee!" said Foo, walking into the UG RV cockpit. He had a big, genuine smile on his face.

"What? How?"

"Convenience's sake." Foo shrugged, not thinking too much on how he had gotten there.

"Take a seat and buckle up! We're about to blast off!" Uncle Grandpa announced, as he put his own seat belt on. In a show of his usual sense of humor, the seatbelt went over his face.

Meme, Fee, and Foo all took seats on the RV's couch, and Uncle Grandpa began to drive the RV. Soon enough it was in flight, moving at high speed through the air, and before they knew it, they were off the planet.


	4. May I Offer You A Turnip In This Time?

**Amalgamation**

 **Chapter 4: May I Offer You a Turnip in this Trying Time?**

For days, the blizzard never seemed to end. Chowder, Mung, Truffles, and Shnitzel were gathered around the furnace, each of them covered in blankets, shivering.

"Th-this is all my fault." Chowder said.

"Y-yes, it is." Truffles replied, angrily, glaring at Chowder.

"I c-c-can't believe this is how I die!" Mung said, shaking his head, as if he rejected this reality.

Somehow, there was a knock that the door, which is actually super unexpected considering there was 20 feet of snow outside. Who could _possibly_ be out in this weather?

"You get it Shnitzel, I'm too busy freezing to death." Mung ordered.

"Radda radda" Shnitzel muttered under his breath, as he stood up, and shuffled over to the door. He opened the door, and it was the Pastry Twins. "Radda!" He grabbed Baguette and hugged her tight. Eclair walked in and closed the door.

"Radda radda!" Shnitzel said, almost shedding tears.

"I wasn't about to let a little snow keep me from my boyfriend." Baguette replied, smiled at Shnitzel.

Shnitzel smiled back, and the two of them kissed.

Eclair walked into the kitchen, and saw Truffles, Chowder, and Mung huddled around the furnace. He sat down next to Chowder. No one questioned this.

Baguette and Shnitzel walked back into the kitchen, and took seats in front of the furnace as well.

"So….What are we gonna do anyways?" asked Eclair "We can't just take zis without fighting it!"

"Eclair, I have told you, zere is no use! You cannot just fight a god!" Baguette facepalmed.

"But what else can we do?" Eclair rested his face in his hands, and sighed loudly.

"I might have an idea…A crazy one, but an idea nonetheless." Said a voice.

"Who's there?" asked Mung, looking around. "Is it _another_ one of those narrators, with their empty promises?"

"I'm your worst nightma-whoa!"

A girl, wearing a loose fitting purple and off-white shirt fell from the ceiling, right onto Eclair.

"Icing!" Everyone said in unison, even Shnitzel, of course he just said _radda._

"Well, that's what I get for trying to be dramatic!" She got off of Eclair. "Sorry mime-boy, didn't mean to crush you there."

"It is okay!" said Eclair, but by the glazed look he had, he probably suffered brain damage from Icing's landing. He passed out.

Icing cringed. "If he's dead, I'm sorry!" Icing began to run off, only to be stopped by Baguette and Shnitzel.

"Wait, but what about your plan?" Baguette asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, yes, my plan. I forgot about that, because, well, _I ACCIDENTALLY KILLED YOUR BROTHER_!" said Icing, with an annoyed tone. "… _and now I'll never get to tell him I have a crush on him!_ " Icing pouted.

"He's not dead, he's just sleeping!" Chowder had checked Eclair while that conversation had been happening.

Eclair stirred. "Icing has a crush on me?" he said, having heard her say that. He proceeded to pass out again.

" _Anyways_ , before you mime-boy of a brother passed out, my plan was to leave the planet all together, like cowards! HOORAY FOR COWARDICE!"

"And _how_ exactly are we going to leave ze planet?" Baguette asked, in a snarky tone. "Zat is ze stupidest plan ever, Icing. And here I zought you were an evil genius."

"Radda radda." Shnitzel agreed.

"Uh, duh! Magical scissors." Icing replied, as if this was common knowledge.

Baguette and Shnitzel shared a confused glance at each other, and looked back at Icing with a look that could only be described as "?".

"And _where_ will we get ze magical scissors?" Baguette, again asked with a snarky tone.

"I don't know! I haven't thought this plan through… _aaaaaand_ now I see why it's flawed…"

Shnitzel sighed and facepalmed. Baguette appeared to be losing her patience.

"I'll go ask Paella for help." Icing marched out the door, and then came back a few moments later almost completely frozen. "I forgot its blizzardy outside…."

Baguette sighed, and sat down. "And I was hoping I would get married."

"Marriage isn't worth it!" Mung said off-screen. Seconds later was the loud, unmistakable sound of Truffles hitting him over the head with a pan.

Shnitzel comforted Baguette. "Radda radda." He said, hugging her.

She kissed him.

"Get a room, you two!" Icing said jokingly.

Baguette and Shnitzel looked at Icing with the single most done look two people could produce.

"We'll gladly get a room when you come up wiz good plans." Baguette said, with the most sassy look that you almost wouldn't expect from her.

"Ooh, radda!" Shnitzel said to Baguette's burn at Icing.

"Jeez. Fine, _I will_ come up with a better plan! And…and it will…involve….uh…." Icing looked around, and a bag of turnips caught her eye. "It will involve TURNIPS!" she crossed her arms.

"Turnips? Do I get to eat the turnips?" Chowder asked excitedly

"No, we're building a rocket ship out of turnips." Icing walked up to Eclair, who was _still_ passed out. "C'mon, mime-boy, wake up!" Icing poked Eclair until he stirred. "We're building a rocket-ship out of turnips."

"A turnip rocket ship? Like from ze music videos?" asked Eclair, who was still definitely out of it.

"Yep." Icing helped Eclair up.

"It's not gonna work!" Baguette yelled at her brother and Icing.

"I wanna help!" Chowder ran over to Eclair and Icing, his happy bounce back in his step.

Baguette sighed. She shook her head, and looked at Shnitzel.

"Radda radda." He said to her.

"On a daily basis?" Baguette looked surprised and cringed.

"Radda." He said, nodding.

Baguette sighed again.


End file.
